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I'm not even that big of a fan of Barotrauma - I have fewer than 4 hours on it. But last night the custom ship we were on had a portrait of Cave Johnson on the wall near the command station. That got me thinking about making something fun with ElevenLabs's voice cloning tool.

I cannot take credit for this script, as it was all ChatGPT's GPT-4 and was made with two prompts and has ZERO edits.

First prompt:
"Write a monolog in the voice of Cave Johnson from Portal 2. I want Cave Johnson to introduce himself and explain, like it is a real thing, the purpose of the listener joining the crew of a submersible vessel in the fictional world of the video game Barotrauma. He'll give some examples of what work they'll be tasked with, explain why their participation is crucial, offer a few flattering compliments, and remind them of the extreme dangers they will find in the oceans of Europa. He will also explain some of the perks of completing their missions, and remind them of the punishments from their captain should they disobey."

[The first draft was structured like this final version, but it didn't have quite the number of jokes as I was hoping. This is what I prompted next...]

"This is great. Please write a second draft with more jokes and puns in it. Dark humor is definitely ideal, but don't be too grim."

# Full script from ChatGPT
"""
[Cave Johnson Voice] Ahoy there, potential crewmate! Cave Johnson here, founder and CEO of Aperture Science, now captaining our deep-sea division. Welcome aboard this state-of-the-art submersible vessel, where we'll be diving headfirst into the abyss of Europa's oceans, just like my stock portfolio in the '60s!

You're probably asking yourself, "Cave, what am I doing here?" Well, let me tell you, you're about to embark on an adventure so thrilling, it makes jumping through portals look like a game of hopscotch.

We've chosen you because you've got the skills, determination, and just the right amount of disregard for self-preservation that we're looking for in our elite crew. You're the crème de la crème, the Neptune of the seas, and we're excited to have you dive into the deep end with us.

As part of this esteemed crew, you'll be tackling a variety of tasks that are as diverse as the creatures lurking in Europa's depths. One day, you might be patching up hull breaches like a deep-sea seamstress, and the next, you'll be playing babysitter to our nuclear reactor – just make sure not to let it throw a tantrum! You could find yourself manning the sonar, scanning the dark waters like a bat on steroids, or operating our weapons systems, turning hostile sea monsters into calamari.

And why is your participation so important? Well, we're on a mission to unlock the secrets of this icy moon, and we believe that beneath its frosty exterior lies a treasure trove of knowledge – a scientific piñata, if you will. And you, my friend, are the one wielding the bat.

Now, let's not sugarcoat it – we're plunging into danger as deep as these oceans. The pressure down here could crush a man's skull like a walnut, and the creatures we've encountered make the monsters under your bed seem like bedtime stories. You'll need to be as alert as a caffeinated cat and trust your fellow crew members like a lifejacket in a shipwreck.

But don't worry, we've got some perks that are juicier than a watermelon at a summer BBQ. Complete your missions, and you'll be showered with riches, fame, and the satisfaction of knowing that you're breaking new ground – or, in this case, water. And hey, you might even get a snazzy certificate to hang on your wall, perfect for impressing your grandma.

However, let's be clear: defy your captain, and you'll be in for a world of hurt. Think of it like a team-building exercise, where the goal is survival. Follow orders, do your duty, and we'll all float on just fine.

So, welcome aboard! Remember, we're relying on you to help us navigate the uncharted waters of the cosmos. Strap in, grab your gear, and let's dive into the unknown! As I always say: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and when Europa gives you ice, make... ice-cold lemonade, with a twist of history! Cave Johnson, signing off.
"""

# Tools used
Script: ChatGPT's GPT-4 ($20/month)
Audio: ElevenLabs ($22/month for my "creator tier", though I was over-budget so this cost me something like $1.50 to generate this skit).
Image: Stable Diffusion, run locally, using some community checkpoint with in painting on the official game portrait to give Cave a diving suit (free, but requires an expensive video card and PC)
Video: ClipChamp with subtitle generator (I have access to it through Microsoft 365)

#barotrauma #portal2 #aivoice #elevenlabs #chatgpt #spoof #parody #comedy