Game:

High Grenadier (1991)

Duration: 11:52

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High Grenadier...I have this game factory-sealed and I paid a penny for it AFTER shipping; yes, you heard right. I won a base bid auction that began at one cent and it had free shipping. The game is said to be fairly uncommon too, so I thought this was a good thing at the time (though in reality, it isn't nearly the best purchase I've made despite how cheap it was...not even close). It's still factory sealed because I decided to "get" the game elsewhere and play it without opening it. You know what? It's a good thing I didn't open it; if I did, I might not be able to turn a profit after this.

On the surface, High Grenadier seems like a classic old-school strategy game. The visuals are very basic, but that's not such a big deal. The music (what little there is) is actually pretty neat. The gameplay...will SEEM complex to a degree to either the Japanese-illiterate or to those who haven't played this game for at least thirty minutes. You start with six commanders and various armored machines to do battle with. The game will start you with three commanders on the battlefield and you can move them to take over the yellow areas (the enemy territory). If you have extra armored units, you can move more than three people by taking one of your reserve (not in use) commanders out of your home base (the spot you start on) and giving them armored units.

The third command on the top right is to move. The middle command on the top is to move and attack/liberate. The top left command is to bring in a new commander (if you have spare armored units). The bottom left option is to check units and locations; even if an enemy unit isn't on a yellow spot, there are still guards on the towns that you often have to beat. The middle option on the bottom is the "System" menu; you can save or load there. The bottom right option is to end your turn.

To make a long story short, you must take over the CPU's main base on the opposite end of the screen. To some, this will seem daunting, since the CPU owns all the terrain at the start and can easily make their way over to you while you move one space at a time. The developers thought it would take you a while too, hence the need to save and load. The game is ONLY this one map...once you reach the other side, the ending shows and the credits roll. As if that wasn't bad enough, imagine this game costing over 6,700 yen (In these times, that's over 70USD) when it was originally released...no story intro, no character development, no in-game background...NOTHING...not even competent A.I.!

What...? No A.I.? Isn't this a strategy game? Only if you think it is. The easiest way to win is, ironically, to use as little brain matter as possible. I didn't do it in this video ONLY to make it look like an ordinary strategy game, but I have another movie clip (one I didn't upload) that goes from start to finish with my default three commanders while NEVER upgrading my units (sans some stat points which I don't even know what they do)... I didn't bother liberating the other areas, saving the other commanders, or EVEN PROTECTING HOME BASE. If I didn't fudge the controls so much as far as selecting areas and the like, you'd swear it was a freakin 15 minute speedrun; no saves or tool assistance necessary. Competent A.I. would have thought to take over home base, since it was completely defenseless.

Me and my bro was sitting there and I kept moving all three units together and dominating the CPU and we were just like "No way this is happening...". Played for three more minutes and was near the end with the CPU completely defenseless as we devastated their units and we just sat there like "This is ACTUALLY happening...I'm REALLY going to win just like that." Needless to say, I have the ending uploaded and the game was just an utter joke. The worst part is that liberating different areas and fighting can lead to the development of more powerful armored units, but I won with the defaults. Oooooooookay.

Basic Format: CD-Rom² (CD-Rom2)